New Beginnings

A lot of simtime has passed since the last post, but not much has happened. So I don't have much a narrative for you at this point... more like a slideshow of highlights.

Nathan and Heather have just been busy with their careers, and with a lot of boning. Seriously, they have a LOT of sex. A lot. I generally don't bother to have my sims Woohoo unless they get the desire to. Well let me tell you, that little crazy-faced purple heart shows up with almost alarming frequency.

Nathan maxed out his Athletic skill and Heather has made a ton of friends and maxed out her Charisma. Heather became the mayor! And she got to wear this SWEET MAYORLY SASH:

It's got stars on it and everything!

Now Heather is actually the Vice President. Of what, they don't say, but I'm assuming it's the country. The United States of Simerica? She'll probably be President someday. As part of raising campaign funds and making contacts, she threw all sorts of political shindigs. Those were pretty fun. Nathan even performed guitar at one of them.

Schmoozin'.

At one point, they were robbed. Robbed! Do you believe it? When Nathan himself has a fair ranking in the criminal career. You'd think they wouldn't victimize their own. No honor among thieves, I guess.

That's the bugger what did it. And Magical Mr. Gnome stood by and did nothing.

Nathan also made great strides in his career. He eventually became a supervillain and then the Emperor of Evil, which basically means he was in charge of all crime everywhere ever. But first they ran him through the gauntlet of silly and demeaning outfits. If you want your sim to go far in the Criminal career, you'd better be comfortable seeing him in clothes that at first look like something you'd see on a homosexual man in a club, and eventually look like Star Trek convention nerdwear.

As the Emperor of Evil, Nathan occasionally glows red with what I can only assume is an evil aura. His evil is so concentrated that it occasionally escapes in the form of evil vapor.

Nathan was arrested countless times on his way to the top, but he made it. And with all the money he earned from criminal activity, and all the money Heather earned from political stuff, they saved up enough money to buy a darn nice house out in the country. And it's a good thing too, because Heather got pregnant.

SAY WHAT

DID I JUST DROP A BOMBSHELL ALL UP IN HERE

./`./` When a maaaaaan loves a wooooooman ./`./`

Yeah, so, Heather got pragnet, and a tiny trailer is no place to have a kid. Plus, it's preeeeetty awkward when you still live across the street from your ex-husband. Or across from the very muscular guy that you stole your current wife away from. It was just awkward for both of them. So they moved.

Nathan set to work improving their new home, fixing up plumbing, painting over hideous wall colors, that sort of thing. Heather set to work being really pregnant and doing things like reading in bed all day, taking naps, and going to the spa on a regular basis.

Soon after, they started experiencing marital problems. Every now and then, they would pass each other and Heather would scowl at Nathan and go "BOOOOOOOO!"

Their relationship level was deteriorating rapidly. And Nathan actually got the desire to break up with Heather. Unthinkable! I eventually realized that it was because Nathan was, you know, the Emperor of Evil. It's not exactly good for an aspiring politician to be wedded to the Emperor of Evil. In fact, in the description of the Emperor of Evil, it basically states that the Emperor of Evil is the arch-enemy of the Leader of the Free World, which is the top of the Political career if I remember correctly. Nathan and Heather had pretty much become mortal enemies.

That issue got put on hold, however, because Heather popped out that kid faster than a jackrabbit on speed.

Because labor pictures are always fun.

And then she popped out ANOTHER kid. That's right, twins. Two boys. They were named Alistair and Sam.

When they brought the boys home, there was a creepy-as-hell welcoming committee waiting for them.

Now there are TWO Magical Mr. Gnomes, and I have no idea where the second one came from. Are they multiplying? Will there someday be three, and then seven, and then nineteen of them, and they murder Nathan's family while they sleep? Dear god.

Ambitions & Amore

Purely for your enjoyment, here is a picture of Nathan snooping around at the art gallery with a magnifying glass:

Now that Nathan has successfully smooched Heather, he can woo her openly. He likes to serenade her with his guitar.

Also now that he has smooched her, he is on a fervent quest to get some. She spends the night at his place every night, but it's several days (which is like several weeks or months in sim terms) before the option to WooHoo even shows up. Finally it does, one night while they are cuddling in bed.

Nathan is beside himself with excitement! Tonight could really be the night! He goes in for the kill...

... and is rejected outright.

He tries again and again on other nights, but is rejected over and over.

It's pretty odd that she's still wearing her wedding ring, but whatever. Nathan didn't give up, and eventually he got to hit that. No, I didn't take any pictures of it. What sort of girl do you think Heather is?

The morning after, Nathan asks Heather to be his steady girlfriend, and she happily accepts. Bolstered by this acceptance, he tells her he has a surprise for her.

And the next day, they are married unceremoniously in a private wedding.

Happy day! Yay! Hooray! Heather immediately moves in, and we find out that, as well as being Ambitious, she is Neat, Friendly, Loves the Outdoors, and is Family-Oriented. Wait... hold on. Family-Oriented sims always want big families. I check her lifetime goal...

Sure enough, her lifetime goal is to raise five children to their teens. Only then will she truly be happy. Well, great. I figured Nathan for a one-child kinda guy, but it looks like Heather has other plans for him. Moreover, she immediately gains the wish to Have a Child. Oh boy. ... Or girl.

If Nathan's going to step up and be a family man, he'll have to earn more money. Heather is already set in her career as a politician, but Nathan doesn't plan on being a P.I. forever. It's time for him to quit the investigation business and start making progress toward his longterm career goal. It's time for him to become a criminal.

He starts out as a decoy, but on his first day he tips his boss off about a police stakeout and is immediately promoted to cutpurse. Then he immediately gets the desire to be fired, because the pressure of performing well is too much for him. Buck up, lil camper!

As a cutpurse he needs to improve his athletic abilities so he can escape from the cops if need be. It's probably also a good idea so he can escape from Odin Crosby if need be.

Nathan's attempts at building muscle are adorably pathetic.

Eh, he'll get better with time.

Heather, meanwhile, is doing quite well in her career. She was struggling while she was with Odin; he must not have been very supportive. She always had a negative moodlet because she wasn't moving up the political ladder fast enough for her Ambitious desires. But since moving in with Nathan, she's already been promoted once and is well on her way to improving her charisma. She practices her speech a lot.

She also likes to read books about pregnancy and children. This woman is serious about procreation.

Nathan is working out every chance he gets. Maybe a little of his mother's athleticism rubbed off on him. Of course, only Nathan would work out in a tuxedo.

He likes to boast about his newly gained muscles, and Heather is very supportive of him.

The days are flying by. Both sims are slowly earning promotions and raises at work. They buy nicer things with some of their hard-earned money, like a TV and a nicer fridge, shower/bathtub combo and toilet. Everything is going swimmingly, until...

Nathan goes and gets himself arrested. Spending time in jail isn't all that bad, though. He just works out a lot and makes some new friends, and he's released later that evening. He wouldn't mind being arrested again.

Simlife goes on... Nathan got arrested again, and when he got out he immediately went to bed because he was exhausted. Apparently they don't let you sleep in jail. Heather was at work at the time, and when she came home in the afternoon she laid down next to him and fell asleep. It was terribly cute.

Later that night, something freaky happened. It requires some backstory:

Quite some simtime ago, I found a garden gnome named The Mysterious Mr. Gnome in Nathan's inventory. I assume it's a reward from solving the mystery of the smashed toes and the lawn gnome kicking. I placed him on the lawn, where he stood looking rather jaunty and cute. Every night I would hear a *poof!*, and the Mysterious Mr. Gnome would be in a different spot on the lawn, in a different position. I was like, okay, cute little gnome who poofs and moves around, that's whimsical and fun.

But this night, while Nathan is at work being a thug and Heather is sleeping peacefully, I hear the gnome poof and then, also, I hear TV noises. What the heck? Did Nathan come home and start watching TV? Is that the neighbor's TV that's really loud for some reason? I pan the camera over to the living room, and I see this:

The little bastard is watching TV.

Movin' On Up

With the money he's making from solving cases, Nathan can afford to buy a house now. So in the middle of the night, he moves...

... to the crappy little trailer directly across the street from Odin and Heather's crappy little trailer.

Howdy, neighbor!

This way he can be closer to Heather, and keep an eye on Odin. Just waiting for Odin to slip up so he can make his move...

The trailer even comes amazingly badly furnished, so Nathan now has all the amenities of a proper home.

Once again, Nathan doesn't want to be recognized, so he starts taming his wild black hair, shaving, and wearing fake glasses. He adopts the role of friendly new neighbor and goes across the street to introduce himself.

Odin invites him inside. Nathan is disappointed to see that Heather isn't home, but he does see Ginny McDermott there, and Odin is looking at her with a peculiar expression.

 Is it... love?

If Odin was having an affair with Ginny, that would be great. Fingers crossed!

Since Heather isn't around, Nathan soon leaves to work on some cases. He'll try again another day. The next afternoon, he calls Heather up and invites her over. She agrees.

He greets her at the door and then excuses himself for a moment. He checks his appearance, furiously brushes his teeth, and changes out of his boring work clothes.

He makes them salad for dinner, because he remembers Heather likes salad (and because it's one of the three meals he knows how to make).

After dinner, they stand in his kitchen and talk well into the night. They have reached the relationship level of Friends! Eeeeexcellent. Nathan finally sends Heather home when he's too exhausted to stand up straight.

Things continue like this for a while. Nathan solves cases by day and hangs out with Heather every night. Their friendship is blooming.

Finally, they have become best friends. Nathan decides today is the day he will kiss Heather. He's a Great Kisser, so he's pretty sure that if he can just get her to pucker up, it will seal the deal and she'll be his forever. He spends all day cleaning his trailer and getting ready, then invites her over.

She greets him with a hug -- a good start.

Nathan pours some wine, but Heather doesn't drink any. Instead she empties the glasses into the sink and cleans them. Heather cleans every time she comes over... I think she's a neat freak.

Nathan decides to make his move right then and there. He compliments her personality and her appearance, and for the first time, she does not scorn him.

Feeling encouraged, he confesses his attraction for her and pleads for her to leave her husband Odin. She agrees! She and Odin are over. Nathan moves in for a kiss, but his cell phone ruins the moment!

He angrily answers his phone and angrily accepts the offered case from a bewildered client. A few minutes later, in the living room, he tries again. And then they have a long, awkward moment.

But still. SUCCESS! 

Competition & Recognition

It's a big day today. Nathan will meet with Odin Crosby and find out how stiff the competition for Heather's love is. He wakes up at 6 a.m. and starts the day by doing some karate moves in his underwear. Then he puts on some sunglasses and a fake beard, because what if Heather already told Odin all about the crazy guy who tried to seduce her? If he's recognized right away, he might just get his ass beat. A disguise is definitely the way to go.

Nathan drives over to the address Odin gave him. Yes! Now he knows where Heather lives! And they live in a crappy little trailer.

At least they don't live in a big mansion or something. Nathan's underground cave would hardly measure up to that.

Odin is waiting outside when Nathan arrives.

JESUS H. MCGILLICUDDY CHRIST WOULD YOU LOOK AT THOSE ARM MUSCLES.

After Nathan finds out what Odin wants for the case, Heather walks through the front yard on her way to work, and Nathan almost loses his shit.

Thank goodness he put on that disguise. She barely even glanced at him.

Sensing an opportunity to find out more about Heather, Nathan starts buttering up Odin. He compliments him on all sorts of things, and then he asks to come inside. Odin is quite friendly, actually. They end up watching TV together.

Odin has to leave for work, so he politely suggests that Nathan take leave of his home. Nathan watches Odin leave, then instead of going home, he takes a nap in their bed.

It probably smells just like Heather.

After his nap, he raids their fridge. He's having some toast and jam when someone comes in the door.

Ack! It's Heather! And he's still in his PJs/tuxedo, with no sunglasses! He quickly changes back into his disguise and introduces himself as a friend of Odin.

"Oh, sure, Odin said it was totally cool for me to hang out here while he's at work..."

Heather totally falls for it, and he starts chatting her up. He's telling her jokes, making her laugh... she even likes the ghost story he tells her! Usually people look at him like he's crazy when he does that.

He is very tired though, so he goes home and goes to bed at about 6 p.m. Kind of early, but for some reason he's exhausted, even with that nap. The next morning he again wears the disguise and goes out to dig up some dirt on Buzz Rhodes, by Odin's request.

Buzz Rhodes has a beautiful home. Nathan wonders if this is blackmail for monetary gain. He starts by looking through Buzz's mail for anything suspicious.

Then he digs in the garbage for clues.

Finally, he peeps in Buzz's windows.

But there's no evidence of anything illegal or embarrassing going on at the Rhodes house. Buzz is squeaky clean! Nathan returns to Odin to report his findings, and I get this message:

"Odin Crosby looked at me like a cornered animal with just a hint of rabid fascination. I'm not sure I was working for the right individual. I'll just take my money and consider this case closed!"

Uh-oh. Maybe Odin knows more than he lets on. Or maybe he's just a crazy dude. It could be all the testosterone, or steroids. Seriously, did you SEE those biceps?

I guess word's getting around that Nathan is pretty good at solving cases, because the mayor wants to give him some kind of investigator's award bullshit. So he goes and gets that, and as he's exiting city hall, he gets a phone call about another case.

This time Ginny McDermott's toes are getting bruised every night, and she doesn't know why. Sounds more like a case for a doctor, but whatever.

Ginny thinks her neighbor Rhoda Bagley has something to do with it. Nathan thinks Ginny is a paranoid, uneducated country girl, but he promises to question Rhoda.

When he meets Rhoda, he starts thinking maybe Ginny isn't so paranoid after all. Rhoda looks like a person who would break into people's homes and smash their toes while they're sleeping.

But when Nathan questions her about Ginny, she laughs and tells him that every night, Ginny sleepwalks outside and kicks garden gnomes. The doctors at the hospital confirm that Ginny has been treated for sleepwalking in the past. Nathan approaches Ginny later that night to tell her what's up, and he catches her daydreaming about Walker, Texas Ranger.

Ginny laughs and admits that she does have problems with somnambulism. The gnome will be padded to prevent the bruising of Ginny's poor widdle toes when she kicks it. Case solved!