Monday, June 6, 2016

Will's really been climbing the ghost hunting ladder. He's been promoted twice and received a trophy AND a medal from City Hall. It turns out he's just a natural at it, I guess! All that time spent with his Ghostbusters play set as a child is finally paying off.

Unfortunately, Will's been fighting a lot of ghosts outside in the rain lately, and he's developed a nasty cold. He shuffles home exhausted from work and is about to go to bed when his phone rings. It's 5:23 in the morning! Who calls anyone this early?!

Linda Rodgers does, apparently. She's calling Will to ask if he'd like to go out on a date. "YES! Yes, I'd love to. Oh, you -- you meant right now? At 5:30 in the morning? Uh, okay. No, it's no problem. Let me just down a bottle of DayQuil and chase it with two pots of coffee. I'll meet you there!"

He rushes to meet her at Barney's Salon and Tattoo, which is where she wanted to go on their date. She's an interesting lady. When he arrives, he sees her wearing a rather peculiar outfit.

Will feels a bit under-dressed.

Good Will Ghost-Hunting

As you may know, the save file for Nathan and Molly Newby and their family was corrupted. This was the second time it happened to poor Nathan. I've since taken a long break from The Sims 3, reformatted my computer, and started completely over with a new character. I'll miss Nathan, but the new guy is kind of similar. I hope you like him.

His name is Will Campbell. He's a twenty-something with no skills who was recently kicked out of his parents' house. They gave him about 1,000 simoleons and told him to get a job and grow up. So far, all he's done is rent a crappy trailer, then sit around in it watching TV all day.

His first day in his own place, and he's already got mail! Oh boy! Oh wait, it's just bills. But Will still has over 900 simoleons, so as far as he's concerned, he's golden.

Will is a lazy mooch without any marketable skills, but he's a good guy at heart and very enthusiastic. People just like him for some reason. He makes friends easily, which is a good thing, because without friends, who would he mooch from?

Part of his good-naturedness manifests in him giggling at EVERYTHING.

Haha! Silly sun! Suns don't need sunglasses! OH YOU, SUN.

That night, while enjoying an all-night horror movie marathon, Will notices something green and glowing in the yard through the window.

Curiosity sparked, he jumps up and rushes to investigate! On the way there, he sees a hipster fairy riding a bicycle.

No, seriously.

No time to point and laugh! There are shiny things in the yard! Shiny radioactive glowing flowers, it turns out.

Will either has no concept of radiation, or he really wants to become the Hulk and/or Spider-man. Except these are flowers, so he'd become the Incredible Pansy-man, which is not going to impress the ladies nearly as much.

He also plucks a giant glowing mushroom that bioluminesces right in his face.

That'd make a sweet bong.

Maybe this one would turn him into the Amazing Mushroom-Tip-Man, and he could get a lucrative position in the mutant pornography industry.

The next day, after grilling hot dogs for breakfast, Will sits around and watches more TV, but that gets boring, even for a layabout like Will. He really wants to visit the arboretum in town, but it's raining. So he goes shopping at the local consignment store, where he stands in front of a rack of folded shirts and chuckles at his own thoughts for about two hours.

Sandwiches! HA!

Then he notices that there seems to be something wrong with the clerk at the store.

He goes over and wakes him up to make sure he's okay, and it becomes evident that the clerk is a vampire.

Maybe you shouldn't have a day job, buddy.

It turns out vampires really don't like being woken up in the middle of the day. The clerk, whose name is Dante, yells at poor Will, who just wanted to make sure he didn't need immediate medical assistance. Then he dramatically hisses and scares the piss out of Will, to really drive home the point that he's a vampire, YOU MORTAL IDIOT.

Too subtle?

Still, Will forgives. He tries to have a legitimate conversation with Mr. Vampire, but every topic turns sour. Suddenly, a child's laughter breaks the awkward silence.

This li'l tot is amusing herself by making faces in the mirror. Will decides that this looks like a LOT more fun than arguing with a cranky vampire, so he goes over and joins in.

Then they play a few rounds of Rock-Paper-Scissors, which Will takes VERY seriously and plays with an intense frown of concentration. The little girl has to go home because it's getting dark, so they say goodbye. It's still raining, so Will decides to head home. Maybe he can visit the arboretum another day.

On the way home, he meets a foreign tourist named Nanu. He's still in a silly face-making mood, so he introduces himself by immediately sticking his tongue out at her.

Way to give her a good impression of Simerican citizens, Will.

Luckily, she seems pretty laid back and reciprocates the silly faces.

They chat for a bit, which brightens Will's mood after the whole vampire fiasco.

The next day, Will figures he should probably look for a job. After all, without some form of income, he'll never achieve his life goal of having 50,000 simoleons. He checks out the paper.

There are a bunch of boring job openings, like Stylist and Architectural Designer, and -- HOLD THE PHONE. Ghost Hunter?! You mean Will can follow in the footsteps of one his heroes, the indomitable Peter Venkman? SIGN HIM UP.

He doesn't start working until later, and it's a gorgeous, sunny day, so he visits the Summer Festival. There's lots of fun stuff to do! He starts by getting his face painted.

Will is a man of simple pleasures. 

Wait a second -- is that a ghost in the background?


No worries! Will can just whip out his special new ghost-fighting equipment and blast those ghosts a new one! ... Except he's not on the clock yet, so apparently he's not allowed to. Wonderful. Oh well, might as well make friends.

He seemed like a nice chap. I'm not sure what those little shapes on him are about. Ghosts' appearances in The Sims often reveal how they died; maybe he choked on some jelly beans. Maybe they were POISONED jelly beans. A murder mystery!

Suddenly Will felt it was VERY IMPORTANT to partake in the eating contest at the festival. He rushed over to the contest table, tummy a-rumblin'. Hey look, it's hipster fairy boy!

The other two contestants lined up: Jelly Bean Ghost and someone named Bianca Crumplebottom. Hipster Fairy Boy got mad and stormed off to watch from the sidelines. Maybe he thought it wasn't fair to let a ghost participate in an eating contest. Maybe the buns weren't gluten-free. Maybe since other people were lining up to do it, it wasn't cool anymore. Well, whatever. The three remaining contestants poised ready for the attack.

Aaaaaand... GO!

It looked like a really unpleasant experience. They kept choking and gagging. In the end, Bianca won.

Yeah, you look like you're used to cramming wieners in your mouth.

The other two contestants still finished eating their massive piles of hot dogs, for some reason. This turned out to be a bad idea. Will retreated to the shelter of a nearby tree to feel sorry for himself.

Hey there, buddy! You okay? You don't look so -- 

... Oh. All right then.

Will doesn't have too much time to recover, because his Ghost Hunter shift begins and he starts getting notifications about ghosts. He does a speedy Superman-style clothing change into his ghostbustin' get-up. He gets a jumpsuit and everything!

Eugh. A used jumpsuit, apparently.

No, Will, where are you going? Will. STAHP. There are three ghosts right at the festival! Okay fine. 

He taxis over to some guy's house and zaps a bunch of ghosts with his proton pack. Or whatever they call it in the game to avoid copyright infringement. The ghosts are all the same shape, but come in different colors, and they all wave their arms around as if to say "Oh nooo, don't bust me, ghost hunter!" I think they might be mocking him.

His second job is more of the same, except this client is a pretty lady. When the job's done, Will introduces himself and they immediately like each other.

Those are little hearts behind their heads in those chat bubbles, in case you can't tell. They're not upside-down butts. 

Her name is Linda Rodgers. They're so busy hitting it off, talking about Will's fascinating career as a guy who shoots wispy colorful blobs with lasers, that Linda is neglecting her toddler, who is sitting on the porch crying.

Finally, at about 1:30 a.m., Will goes home. The next day he can't stop thinking about Linda. He calls her, but she's busy and can't talk. So he stands in his bathroom facing the wall and talks to himself about her for a while.

Will's ghost hunting keeps him pretty busy. He wakes up in the afternoon, showers, eats, goes to work, captures spirits all night, and goes home in the wee hours of the morning. It doesn't leave much time for a social life, so he puts thoughts of courting Linda on hold for a while.

We works a shift during a full moon, which is interesting. The first house he visits has a zombie stumbling around the living room.

Little girl seems unfazed.

The second house was more or less normal, but a little puppy named Peanut started following Will around and distracted him.

Then he spotted an adorable raccoon and tried to pet it, but that didn't work out so well.

The next house had a ghost problem while the inhabitants were trying to have a party. When Will entered the house to combat the spooky li'l devils, the host marched up to him and said, "Excuse me, but this is a private party. You'll have to leave." Then all the werewolves inside pointed and laughed at him. Hmph! Oh, did I mention there were werewolves?

Looks like bad news for the toddler.

At the next house, Will was busy doing his job when a little girl walked up to him and asked him a favor: Could he read her a bedtime story?

Look, little girl, I don't know who you think you're talking to, but Will is in the middle of a very important --

Well, okay.

Miss Maggie Matchmaker

Ah, finally, the teen years. Full of excitement and drama! Now that their personality traits actually matter, I'll tell you about them.

Lucy is a Perfectionist, a Virtuoso, Good, and Artistic. She's a bit of a loner, though she isn't actually a Loner like her parents. She just keeps to herself for the most part, studying and painting. She entered her teen years with this horrendous soggy toupee of a haircut, but don't worry, I changed that right away.

Maggie is Brave, Friendly, a Party Animal, and Dramatic. Continuing with the spitfire theme. She has an interesting fashion sense and enjoys writing sci-fi stories. She has this odd blend of tomboy, girly girl, and weird artsy girl going on.

Nathan was swinging in the backyard one afternoon when this woman starts walking toward him from the sidewalk. I moused over her and saw that they were friends, but then when she got to Nathan by the swingset, they immediately attacked each other.

That'll teach you to attack a man on his own turf, lady.

Inside, Molly was cooking dinner and occasionally making this weird face like she was proud of herself for being so damn pro at cooking.

Neighbors using the playground equipment is still a problem. Nathan and Molly are considering expanding the fence to include the entire yard.

These people are total strangers to the Newby family. 

Lucy's picked up the guitar.

But her real interests lie in the visual arts. She's already an experienced painter at 16, and now she wants to try her hand at photography. For that she needs a camera, so she visited the consignment shop hoping to get a sweet still-functioning antique camera or something.

But they only had old books and some reeeeeeeaaaaally old wine.

Nathan's little razorbearded mechanical gnome of invention crossed a line big time.

This might give me nightmares. 

Lucy secretly practices her speech in her room for hours on end. She's determined to be popular.

In this quest for popularity, Maggie decided to throw a party at the beach. She called up all her friends from school, grabbed her boombox, and headed down to the shore, SO READY for this party.

So ready! WOO!

While she was on her way to the beach, she ran into Lucy's friend Ian Bull, who was sporting a really bad dye job and Justin Bieber haircut.

She invited him to the party too, and then everyone arrived all at once and commenced the dancin'.

As a Party Animal, Maggie gets adjectives like awesome, kickin', epic, and sweet attached to her actions. So she doesn't just dance, she does "Kickin' Dance," which disappointingly has nothing to do with Cossacks.

Maggie called up Lucy and told her Ian was at the party and she needed to get her skinny butt down there RIGHT NOW. Lucy got there and said hi to Ian, then called him over to the gazebo to dance.

It was cute and they got along well, but nothing spectacular happened. Ian left shortly after dark, and then Lucy went home because parties aren't really her thing unless there is a boy she likes there.

Then their older brother Sam, who's now a Young Adult, showed up and got really mad about Maggie for some reason.

He just stood there thirty feet from the gazebo and glared at her. Then he smiled, flipped a coin, and left. It was kind of creepy.

But nobody at the party even noticed, because they were too busy having an awesome/sweet/kickin'/epic time.

Of course the party was a raging success and Maggie wants to throw another one as soon as possible.

I actually forgot about the creepy mechanical pervert gnome, until it happened AGAIN.


That was really the last straw. I sold the pervy bastard immediately, and henceforth there shall be no more gnomes in this household.

Maggie really did throw another party as soon as possible, the very next day. This one was a pool party.

Maggie forgot to eat before the party started and she couldn't leave all her guests, so she called up Lucy again and told her to put on her swimsuit, order a pizza, and bring it down to the community pool. Oh, and by the way, Ian was there.

Molly was excited when the pizza guy showed up. She probably thought she was gonna get a piece of that (the pizza, not the pizza guy), but no, Lucy took it straight to the party.

Where Maggie set upon it like a ravenous werewolf, if werewolves ate pizza instead of human flesh and cattle.

Unfortunately, Ian disappeared before Lucy got there, and the party wrapped up soon after. Maggie's determined to get her sister on a date with this boy, though. As far as she's concerned, Lucy wouldn't even have a social life if it weren't for her.