Friday, October 8, 2010

Profession Obsession

Nathan is in a taxi cab. Today Nathan is going to do something important. Today is the day Nathan becomes a doctor.

He needed a job, and he remembered how much money his dad made as a doctor. It can't be that hard, right? Just waltz into the hospital and demand a job, right? It's not like you need years of special training or anything.

So that's exactly what he did, and voila! He is now a doctor. Or rather, you know, a bedpan cleaner. Whatever. It's a process. He's just lucky they gave him a job, with that molestache. Doctors shouldn't have molestaches. Doctors should have goatees.

After getting hired at the hospital, Nathan went to the library, and he used their mirror to give himself a goatee. He didn't have clippers... my guess is that he willed himself to grow a full beard in about five minutes, then broke a piece of glass off the mirror in the library bathroom and used it to shave it into a goatee. Then he FREAKED OUT about bathroom stalls.

Unfortunately, after reinstalling the game I forgot to enable the recording of sound again, so you can't hear his righteous scream.

He went to play his guitar, then, in the middle of the library. That's just how evil he is.

Hey, people are trying to READ here!

It turns out you actually can't just waltz into the hospital and become a doctor. I wanted to follow Nathan to work like you're supposed to be able to in Ambitions, but Doctor isn't listed with the rest of the professions on the computer, and the option isn't popping up at the hospital. I don't know if you have to have certain skills to be a doctor, or what, but that takes work. Nathan needs money now, so he'll take up something that takes absolutely no skills whatsoever: private investigation. Now he just has to sit back and wait for some leads.

A few days go by. One night, Nathan wakes up, goes outside, kicks over the garbage can, then points and yells at it.

Another night, he's at the library when he spots -- gasp -- a BABY. Finally, his long-held dream of stealing candy from a baby can come true!

Private investigators should have a different kind of facial hair -- perfect stubble. And hair that's slicked back, but not perfect -- ruffled from stressful hours sitting at a desk, poring over case files and whatnot. Or something.

Nathan Newby, master of disguise.

Yes, that is a happy dancing panda on his shirt. What of it?

Then I realized Nathan could now change into his Private Investigator uniform, which comes with a hat and its own hairstyle, which is a plain old shaved head.

Though in this shot he looks more like a blues player than a P.I.

Anyway, off to his first case! He goes to meet up with the client.

I don't know what's up with her eyes.

I forget her name, so I'll just call her Eyebags. Eyebags is afraid some guy named Norman is saying mean things about her on a forum, so she wants Nathan to hack into his computer and find out. Seriously? That's all you got? No one's been murdered, no priceless jewels stolen? You just want me to track down some nerd who made fun of you on a forum nobody cares about? Alright, fine. As long as I'm gettin' paid.

All Nathan had to do was go to the library and use the computer. Apparently he just joined the forums and called this Norman guy a "poopen noopen," or something equally ridiculous. Then he returned to Eyebags and got paid. Best job ever?

Just as a courtesy, after Eyebags went back inside after paying him, he stood in her bushes and played her a song on his guitar. Nathan Newby, the only private detective who comes with complimentary music.


  1. Clearly, Eyebags has lost sleep over this internet forum business.

  2. Nathan is quite easily the best fucking sim EVER.