Monday, June 28, 2010

Flirting with Death, Literally

One morning, Eddie woke up early and decided to take a break from being an angsty teen and cook breakfast for the whole family. Isn't that nice? Or... he might have just been really hungry and didn't feel like waiting for Toby or Addie to make food.

Well, better luck next time, Eddie. Now stop looking like Edward Cullen.

He had to improve his writing skill for school, so he sat down at his computer only to have it spit sparks at him. While trying to repair it, he was electrocuted.

Eddie is stubborn though, so he tried again! And... got electrocuted again.

And again.

Okay, so I MIGHT have repeatedly made him try repairing the computer because the electrocution animation amuses me. I was a little worried he might die, though.

Addie finally reached the end of the Adult stage. She was WAY too excited about this. Grudge-level excited.

Truly this is the stuff of nightmares.

I don't think I've ever seen anyone be this excited about turning into an old lady. Come on, Addie, have a little respect for the gravity of the situation, here. You're old now. You're going to turn weak and senile and eventually die. You'll get all wrinkly and smell funny.

Now there's the apprehension and repressed horror I was looking for!

Since she's a senior now, Addie can retire and earn a daily pension instead of going to work. Apparently this is a very big deal in the sim world, because Addie stood there and clapped and cheered until everyone in the house came to gawk at her. But what they should have been gawking at was Shaun, because he walked up to Addie and then stretched into some gangly monstrosity.

I was simultaneously afraid, yet hoping that he would stay that way. As disturbing as he looks, it would also be really entertaining to watch him go about his daily business. You know, like how it's interesting to watch a person with no arms tie their shoes. But he turned back as soon as everybody was done freaking out over Addie's retirement. Just a passing glitch.

As an old lady, Addie sits around in her PJs and watches a lot of Home & Garden and cooking type television. I made her hair black with grey streaks instead of totally grey, because I'm not ready for her to be a really old lady yet. Just a kind of old lady. She's also thinking about starting a garden.

Being retired gives Addie a lot more time to be the mother she was always too busy to be before. She's cooking regularly, and for the second time ever, the whole family was in the kitchen for breakfast at once.

Toby has made it to the top of the medical career; he's a World-Renowned Surgeon now. Given the outfit he comes home in after work, I'm more inclined to believe he's a world-renowned mad scientist.

Stay tuned for Dr. Toby's Sing-Along Blog.

Addie had the desire to visit the cemetery, so I had her bring Shaun and Nathan to see their grandma Agnes' grave. The two boys stood there awkwardly while Addie cried and yelled curses to the heavens. Nathan started talking to himself out of boredom. While he was caught up in what seemed to be a childish argument with himself, Addie and Shaun left without him. Nathan had to walk home.

Then it was time for Nathan to enter the Teen stage. It seems like there's at least one birthday in every post, doesn't it? Time goes by quickly for sims. They invited some friends and family over for cake. Including Starla, the boys' half-sister, who stood in the living room and made crazy faces with flailing hand motions the entire time.

Check out their old babysitter, Rory! He's become an adult, and I must say I approve.

Ah, the moment of suspense. What will Nathan look like as a teenager?

Still exactly like Eddie, I guess. Only minus the awful sports jacket and plus a dark, brooding stare. And that SHIRT. I'm not changing that. It's staying, white pants and all.

While everyone was digging into the cake and delicious dim sum Toby has prepared, I noticed one of the guests acting a little strangely in the corner.

 Oh no, not again...

This family has really bad luck with people dying. It's like they're cursed. Michael Bachelor keeled over and died, and everyone in the room adopted really great expressions of horror and sadness.

"Dude, way to be a buzzkill."

Death appeared, and he for some reason took Mr. Bachelor into the empty unused room in the house. Maybe he wanted Mr. Bachelor to have some privacy while he pitifully begged the spectre of Death to spare his life.

Yeah, you SHOULD feel bad about ruining Nathan's party! Selfish old dude!

Mr. Bachelor begged and begged, but Death grew impatient and basically slapped him into the afterlife. There was no graceful diving into a hole in the ground, like there was with Ichelle. Nope, he basically slapped the kneeling Mr. Bachelor, who flew through the air and then disappeared. When Death pimp-slaps you onto the next plane, you know you are not looking at a pleasant afterlife.

At this point, Addie's feeling sassy. She's pissed that Death and Mr. Bachelor ruined her son's birthday party, and she decides to get revenge by zapping Death with her moodlet manager.

I had no idea what was going to come of this. Would it have no effect? Was this supposed to happen? Was it a glitch? How would Death respond? Would Addie die? What a way to go, though, playing a prank on Death.

Well, it turns out Death didn't ignore it or suck out Addie's soul. He cowered like a little child.

Then he gave Addie a good scolding.

"Are you fucking crazy? Do you fucking know who I am? I'm DEATH! I will command swarms of flies to descend on your loved ones and suffocate them by flying into their orifices! What the FUCK?"

"Don't you take that deep and ominous tone of voice with me, mister! I'm an old lady AND a retired soldier and secret agent, AND a mother! Death doesn't scare ME! Now you ruined my son's birthday party, and I want you to go in that kitchen and apologize to everyone RIGHT NOW."

Death didn't apologize, but to be fair there wasn't really anyone left to apologize to, since an old guy dying really doesn't put people in the mood to party (unless it's Bernie Lomax). Everyone shuffled out the door murmuring things like "Uh, nice party I guess, but I gotta get going..." and "Thanks for inviting me, I had an... okay time." Except for one guy, who threw his hands in the air, whooped, and exclaimed that it was the best party he'd ever been to. I won't be inviting him over ever again.

This was the first time I've ever been able to perform normal social interactions with Death. I don't think it's supposed to happen, and I don't know if it'll ever happen again, so I decided I might as well have some fun with it.

Addie decided to Get to Know Death. She learned he's a Kleptomaniac, Inappropriate, and Absent-Minded. He only insulted and criticized her when she tried to start a conversation. Then he stormed off, thinking about... I don't know, what is that, hellfire?

Addie thought about putting a box on her head, while Toby and Eddie are playing Madden like nothing unusual is happening behind them.

Death sat at the desk, opened up Addie's laptop, fiddled with the mouse, closed the laptop, stood up, and poof! He disappeared. I saw Addie had a negative moodlet from "Losing a Friend," and my first thought was that she was sad because Mr. Bachelor died. But no, it was actually from the negative interactions with Death. She considered Death a friend, and she was upset that they were fighting. I... I don't even... I just don't know.


  1. Fucking amazing! Did you just make a Weekend At Bernie's reference?

  2. @obscuremst3kref: You bet Torgo's knees I did!

    @mary: ty ty

  3. I love it when sims do the stretched out glitch! I have pics of a sim doing that in my game.

  4. This was the first time I saw it. :o