Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Tough Teenage Love

Shaun has grown into a toddler, and I have no idea how this happened. I mean, I know how he became a toddler, but I don't know about THIS:

Where'd little Goldilocks here come from? Addie has black hair and Toby has brown hair. I guess some blonde genes were hiding somewhere in one of them. Unless the mailman is blonde, ha ha.

Addie and Toby are finally done havin' babies, which means Addie has gone back to work. Since Toby has a job too now (he's a doctor, remember? By the way, he's actually a doctor, no more bedpans), they needed to hire a babysitter to take care of the kids while they're both at work. The first babysitter they had was a teenaged girl named Genevieve Nugent, and I will admit that she was related to The Nuge in my mind. But since then it's been some weird kid named Rory Kyle. At the time the above picture was taken, I was watching Shaun and Nathan play happily together in their shared bedroom.

Then I thought, wait a second, where's the babysitter with whom my sims are entrusting their babies' lives? I looked ALL OVER the house and couldn't find him anywhere. That little shithead! He's not even watching the kids! Finally I found him, and do you know where he was?

You're fired, Rory Kyle.

Actually, I didn't fire him, because as soon as I found him, he appeared to think, "Hmm, I'd better go check on the kids."

And then he changed Shaun's diaper and gave them both bottles. So... he's not such a bad babysitter I guess. Or maybe he just got the sense that a higher power was watching him shirk his duties. Oh how I wish I could speak in a booming voice to my sims.

It's time for Eddie to grow from a Child to a Teenager. They'll be throwing him a party when he gets home from school at 2:00. When Addie gets home at 1:00, however, the house is a disaster. The sink is broken and leaking everywhere, the dishwasher is spouting sparks and smoke, and there's a pile of rancid waffles on the counter.

Luckily Toby soon arrives home from work to help with the cleaning and repairs, but he's still mopping up the puddle on the kitchen floor when the first guest arrives.

Wait a sec, who is that? I don't remember inviting this p -- OH WAIT THAT'S LIZA. She's a teenager already! Well, I bet that's embarrassing now since I invited her brother or father or uncle to chaperone her (I don't know which, but he's an adult male relative of hers who lives in her house).

Eddie's ready to blow out his candles, and everyone else at the party is WAY more excited than he is.

So he huffs and he puffs, and then the magic happens, and the glitter and the sparkles, and he spins around and VOILA!

I can't tell if he's making that face because he's being a smarmy teenager or because Toby is blowing that party favor RIGHT IN HIS EAR.

I see he's taking after his father with the long hair. That's cool, but that sports jacket has got to go.

The party goes downhill faster than a game of SkiFree after that. Nathan over in the highchair lays a big ripe poo and starts screaming about it, while Liza's adult male relative starts crying and blubbering out of some sort of sudden-onset heartbreak.

Everyone goes home except for Liza, who sticks around to play some video games with Eddie before she leaves.

Ob la di, ob la da, life goes on. For his Teenager trait I picked Genius, and Eddie proves to be incredibly studious. He's been on the honor roll for about twelve years straight now.

So what if he still has his old lamp that casts star shapes on the wall? It gives him sweet dreams, okay?

One sunny Saturday -- which is redundant to say, really, because every day in The Sims 3 is sunny -- Addie and Eddie take the two toddlers to the park for some fun and exercise.

Jeeze, woman, have you never heard of carseats? Addie looks worried, and she SHOULD be, because if the cab driver slams on the breaks for any reason, Eddie is suddenly going to be an only child again.

The afternoon at the park is very uneventful. Nathan and Shaun just sit there staring off into space until Shaun poops and gets cranky so I decide it's time to go home. So much for fun and exercise.

Eddie, however, goes to the pool instead of going home. Liza is there, and he promptly tells her she needs some exercise.

Clearly she does not appreciate this. Eddie learns that Liza is a Couch Potato, which kills my hopes of them ever getting together. I don't want to do the whole Athletic sim + Couch Potato sim thing again.

Meanwhile, look who's a Child now!

It's Nathan! I like to give my sims at least one negative trait and one neutral trait, to keep things interesting. I decide it's time for Nathan to get his, and on a lark I choose to make him Insane. This will be fun!

The sun is setting, and Eddie's teenage hormones have got him looking for love. Apparently his long hair isn't the only thing he's inherited from his father; he also has a terrible tendency to chase after older women. I keep seeing an attractive girl, and I think, "Ooh, there's a cute girl for Eddie to date!" So I send him over to talk to her, and she's taller than him, which tells me she's either a Young Adult or an Adult and therefore out of the question as a romantic match.

Eddie still chats them up, though. After giving up on this one, he sees this little lady at the bistro down the road:

But she's too old for him too. Probably a good thing anyway, because I'm not sure anyone who would wear that outfit can be entirely sane.

The next day is Nathan's first day of school! Exciting! Except he HATES it. Because he's a Loner, poor Nathan hates being around crowds. He has difficulty maintaining the balance between peaceful alone time and crushing loneliness. His Social bar is usually low. After his first day of school, he stands on the school steps and talks to himself in an appropriately Insane manner.

That same day, Eddie makes a new friend at school: Ginger Fitzgerald. I haven't seen her yet, because I just get a text notification that they're now friends; there's no picture. So I have him invite her to the beach to hang out. Turns out she's pretty cute.

Ginger is hungry, so Eddie tries to impress her by grilling her some hot dogs, despite having never cooked anything in his life.

I don't know why the glass she's drinking out of is glowing so brightly. Maybe she's drinking glowstick fluid. Kids these days...

Eddie suddenly spies someone else at the beach.

This girl's name is Shamika or something. I think. I might be thinking of a different sim. Anyway, Eddie has seen her before, but by the time he gets over to talk to her, she's gone. She's like some sort of impish nymph, all tempting Eddie and then disappearing. So Eddie cuts his conversation with Ginger short and dashes over to say hello to this girl, but as usual, she's vanished by the time he gets there. Curses!

So Eddie returns to play a game of chess with Ginger. At least Ginger plays chess, so she can't be too dumb, right?

But they stay out past curfew and the cops arrive to round'em up. Ginger slips away into the night, but it seems impossible for Eddie to escape.

When he gets home, Addie is extremely upset -- she is Hot-Headed, after all. And the police didn't quietly chauffeur him home, oh no. They sped down the street, lights on and sirens blaring. Which explains why she knew immediately that he was home and sprinted out of the house to yell at him as soon as he set foot on the lawn. When your mom is pissed off and sprinting at you, you know you're in trouble.

Then they had a karate fight to the death.

Okay not really, but wouldn't that be cool? I understand your sims can learn martial arts with the World Adventures expansion, but I don't have that. Sigh. Someday, someday this blog will feature epic karate fights to the death.

Eddie is an Athletic sim, as you may recall, so he decides to start going to the gym. He's just started working out when guess who saunters past!

Shamika! Or, you know, whoever! Finally, Eddie gets the chance to talk to her! He's on a roll, being a real charmer, and then I realize... she's taller than him. She's an adult. Oh, Eddie, you just can't win.

But there's actually a girl his age at the gym that afternoon, too. She's... well... she's certainly a striking sim. Eddie says hello just to be friendly -- she's not really his type. But she turns out to be extraordinarily smart, just like him. They express a mutual admiration for each other's cleverness.

They end up talking until after sundown, and Eddie finds himself liking this girl -- her name is Kyle -- more and more. Their conversation gets a little flirty. She's giving him obvious "let's make out" eyes.

Yes, let's!

There are too many people at the gym, so they go for a walk to the park. Eddie has the sudden impulse to kiss Kyle on the cheek. He leans in, but the look on Kyle's face is not promising.

She lets him down gently, but it's still rejection.

Eddie is crushed. Embarrassed and dejected, he goes straight home.

He's not giving up, though. Sure, maybe Kyle is a lesbian. I mean, look at that hair. And her name is Kyle. But maybe she just needs more time. To clear things up between them, he invites her to get a bite to eat at the bistro. She agrees, and things are going well -- they're even flirting again. But it's really hard to make a good impression on a girl when you're distracted by A FREAKING GHOST.

I guess the bistro is haunted now. This incorporeal jackass just floats around dripping ghostly water (maybe he drowned?) and making tables and chairs rattle. He even makes ghostly "ooooOOOOoooo" noises. Jesus, he's not just a ghost, he's a cliched ghost. I wonder if this bistro is a ghost hotspot. Addie's old boss Ichelle died here too, after all.

Eddie will not be discouraged, however. He leans in for a kiss again, and...

Success! Although Kyle seems a bit reserved and slightly amused, she at least let his lips make contact with hers. And that's not all. By the end of the night, they're going steady. Eddie has his first girlfriend.

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